On Needing

I’ve always been uncomfortable about being perceived as a person in need. My snap tendency is always to figure out a way to do it myself, stay as independent as possible, do everything I can to make it seem like I can do all the things without any of the effort. Moving to Seattle, alone, without knowing a soul has been by far the most significant change of my life and has made me ask for help in ways that only months ago would have crippled me. I've needed like never before, whether in navigating foreign streets, understanding my overwhelming new job, looking for a place to live in unfamiliar neighborhoods, finding a church community without knowing other believers and, most of all, starting friendships over from ground zero. I’ve never had to ask for help, support, and presence in the ways that I have had to in the past two months, and I’ve never been so overwhelmed by the generosity of others. From strangers offering me a place to stay, to long-lost childhood friends who have included me without hesitation, to patient coworkers explaining concepts over and over again, to strangers on the street lifting furniture I can’t manage alone, to names I barely recognized becoming real friends over four hour dinners, to near strangers bringing wine and cheese and truth when I don’t even have the words to ask for them—thank you. I don’t deserve the things you’ve so graciously poured into me, and I can only hope I’ll one day be able to fill a need the way that you have so significantly filled mine.