Because YOU'RE feeling equal parts relieved and terrified that you forgot to enroll in your benefits until you only had 12 hours left to do so, not me
Because YOU are no longer the tallest lady at church and now have four equallytallortaller comrades in arms to stand with in solidarity, not me
Because YOU'VE been sleeping on an air mattress for two months due to Very Unfortunate Selling and Very Unfortunate Return situations and are now turning into a Hunchback, not me
Because YOUR best lady sent you a heartfelt throwback letter written on 11 postit notes instead of paper, not mine
Because YOU went through a four hour ordeal because you wanted the simple pleasure of enjoying cookies in your new home, only to realize that you haven't bought a cookie sheet yet, only to realize when you get home from purchasing said sheet that you don't have ingredients, only to realize when you get home from purchasing said ingredients that you don't have a spoon with which to stir them, only to fall asleep from exhaustion before you got to enjoy said cookies, awakening to them burning and inedible, NOT ME